Tuesday, September 26, 2006

im here. we sent my sissy and parents off at the airport last night. ): im still rather emotional about the whole thing now, and i dont want to sound sissy ( i mean like, in the gay sense ) but i cant stop tears from springing to my eyes everytime i think of the fact that i wont be seeing her for such a long time. so if i dont talk in school or anything please dont bother me okay?

i dont think ill get over it. i miss them all so much, i miss my mummy and daddy, i miss her. ))): this morning when i had to wake up myself, and when i had to do everything myself, i realised how much i need mummy. not only physically, but i just cant do without her presence. i realised i need her so much and thinking of the fact that she wont be around for so long just reduces me to tears. im a mess.

she'll be back next friday, but so what. sissy will still be gone. its terrible having to part with family, i tell you, terrible. i couldnt stop crying last night, until i fell asleep. then this morning was no better. just wanna let you all know that no matter where you go, i will be here, missing you, loving you.

i guess im still not over the sadness of the parting yet. im just not ready for this. i cant believe im not gonna see her till december. and i cant wait to, as a matter of fact. before they even landed in london, i was wishing for them to come home, to return to my side. but it was impossible. every little thing seems to remind me of them and i just cant control my emotions.

if you see me with tears in my eyes in school, you'll know why, but im trying to be strong. i only allow a few drops to ooze out of my eyes, i dont even let the tears fall down my cheek. i dont want questions or pitying glances. i cant take all of that. i know it may seem like im making a mountain out of a molehill, but its really difficult. if you never parted with someone you love, you wouldnt know how it feels.

so anyway. i really love my family and sissy, I WANT YOU TO COME HOME! like, for real. but that'll only be when im 20. to think, we're all growing up so quickly. by the time you finish your university, i'll be like a grown woman. its just happening so fast.

i love you and i miss you i hope that touched you. (:

i want my mummy

smitten to the very last bone in my body.